It's even got that "new job smell"...
Well folks, I have officially completed my first week at my new job. I am always busy now, and there is always a deadline, and I actually like it. Good times.
And taking the cue from my good friend gthedamned (as always). I've decided to get back to my roots. And now.....drumroll......Oh, come ON. DRUM ROLL.......You know what? Forget the drumroll. And now, more observational humor!
Have you noticed that old people are incapable of being "joke-y"? If they try to be funny, it only comes out as scolding. An old woman across the street from me was asking a young boy about his Easter, and all the candy he got. Then when she tried to jokingly tell him not to eat it all at once.....I swear, that boy was about to burst into tears.
I think my car is somewhat related to Jesus. Now hear me out.... I'll present the facts, and you decide for yourself.
Both Jesus and my car died on Good Friday.
If you went to the parking lot where my car died, it would still be there on Saturday morning. If you went to the parking lot on Sunday, it would have been gone.
JEsus - JEep. Man, that is CREEPY.
You can heckle a comedian. But you can only jeckle a comedian in Arizona and Puerto Rico.
Someone should call Child Welfare Services on the parents of Goofus and Gallant. Honestly, I guess Gallant does fine on his own. But it seems like good parenting could prevent Gallant from getting into a lot of the bad situations he's been in over the years. Actually, you could call CWS on the parents just for naming their children Goofus and Gallant.
This next one is for people with street parking. All you people with driveways and garages can move on....
Have you ever encountered the "jackass parker"? They seem to be everywhere. As all street parkers know, there is a certain number of cars that can fit along the curb between driveways. The jackass parker will decide not to recognize this. They will park their car in such a fashion that they straddle two spaces so that another car (in extreme cases, two cars.) is denied a parking spot on a street with already limited parking. And I'm not talking about the people that have to accommodate the jackass parker. I'm talking about those guys on the END.
I will be conducting a study that tries to find the correlation between the crappiness of a car and the number of "support our troops" ribbon stickers on the trunk.
OK, enough for now. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Whoop.
Well folks, I have officially completed my first week at my new job. I am always busy now, and there is always a deadline, and I actually like it. Good times.
And taking the cue from my good friend gthedamned (as always). I've decided to get back to my roots. And now.....drumroll......Oh, come ON. DRUM ROLL.......You know what? Forget the drumroll. And now, more observational humor!
Have you noticed that old people are incapable of being "joke-y"? If they try to be funny, it only comes out as scolding. An old woman across the street from me was asking a young boy about his Easter, and all the candy he got. Then when she tried to jokingly tell him not to eat it all at once.....I swear, that boy was about to burst into tears.
I think my car is somewhat related to Jesus. Now hear me out.... I'll present the facts, and you decide for yourself.
Both Jesus and my car died on Good Friday.
If you went to the parking lot where my car died, it would still be there on Saturday morning. If you went to the parking lot on Sunday, it would have been gone.
JEsus - JEep. Man, that is CREEPY.
You can heckle a comedian. But you can only jeckle a comedian in Arizona and Puerto Rico.
Someone should call Child Welfare Services on the parents of Goofus and Gallant. Honestly, I guess Gallant does fine on his own. But it seems like good parenting could prevent Gallant from getting into a lot of the bad situations he's been in over the years. Actually, you could call CWS on the parents just for naming their children Goofus and Gallant.
This next one is for people with street parking. All you people with driveways and garages can move on....
Have you ever encountered the "jackass parker"? They seem to be everywhere. As all street parkers know, there is a certain number of cars that can fit along the curb between driveways. The jackass parker will decide not to recognize this. They will park their car in such a fashion that they straddle two spaces so that another car (in extreme cases, two cars.) is denied a parking spot on a street with already limited parking. And I'm not talking about the people that have to accommodate the jackass parker. I'm talking about those guys on the END.
I will be conducting a study that tries to find the correlation between the crappiness of a car and the number of "support our troops" ribbon stickers on the trunk.
OK, enough for now. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Whoop.
